Unlucky Lucky Number 7

So we had a happy little secret.  No one knew. Which was big for me, because I am terrible at secrets.  Unfortunately, the happy little secret became a sad announcement to share.  I was pregnant, but at our 10 week appointment, there was no longer a heartbeat.  We were devastated.  This little one was the 7th biological child of ours.  We were so very hopeful with this pregnancy.  This was the first time that I had become pregnant without medical assistance.  That in and of itself was a huge step forward.  This was also the first baby other than the twins to make it beyond 6 or 7 weeks.  We were in absolute shock just at becoming pregnant, and then as the days passed by, we began to have hope that maybe this one would be the lucky one.

Our hearts are broken once again.  Once again, we suffered the heartache and pain of losing another child.  And once again, I had to endure a procedure to remove a baby that would never come home.  This little one brought hope again to my heart that it may be possible to have a biological child, but now we do not know.  This little one did however make it far enough for testing to be done.  So we are currently anxiously awaiting the results to see if there is anything that can be done in the future to help me to carry a baby to term.  I am already missing the sweet feeling of being pregnant.  Even though I am miserable when I am pregnant, it was so very fun to have a happy little secret inside me.  Someday we will have you again little one.  In the meantime, you brought us hope.